Those who communicate correctly and carefully avoid misunderstandings and usually get a positive cooperation. Whether in the work context or with the family, you want to have a proper discussions. General phrases are only a hindrance.
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Just have a conversation
Of course, you shouldn’t make a psychological game out of every conversation. But if you have some Basic rules Apprecaped, you notice that conversations are usually more effective. This can not only have a positive effect on you, but also on your counterpart.
Stay clear
Do not betray yourself in a complicated language and technical expressions. Simply bring your concerns to the point – of course adapted to your interlocutor. If you get involved in complicated explanations or talk about it, it can happen that you quickly lose your listener’s attention. It is therefore important to formulate sentences clearly so that nothing remains unclear.
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Active listening and empathy
It is empathetically showing himself in a conversation and actively listening to what has been said goes back to a tactic of the discussion of the psychologist Carl Rogers. After him, the illustration of empathy goes hand in hand with the appreciation of the other person. The interlocutor feels perceived and it will be easier for you to put yourself into the emotional world of your counterpart.
So that you also really signal that you understand what the conversation is about, the techniques of active listening help. Pursue and understand what has been said, for example, by keeping attentive eye contact, nodding or symbolizing with your facial expressions and gestures that you follow the conversation – so pay attention to your non -verbal communication. Matching comments or questions can also make it clear that you have understood the factual and emotional content of the said.
Do not ask closed questions
Classic yes or no questions do not help you to build a conversation. Give your counterpart the opportunity to respond to your questions in whole sentences. So you let your interlocutor to articulate and ask questions. If you ask open questions in conversation, you will find that the respondents usually feel rather encouraged to invest more energy in talking to you.
Typical errors at the beginning of the sentence
Some phrases simply slip out in conversation how Reader’s Digest reported. However, you can simply exchange five of them.
1. “With all the necessary respect …”
If you start a sentence like this, you usually have something to complain about and use this phrase to apologize in advance for what has been said and to get out of the danger zone of criticism. And no matter what follows these phrases: mostly, respect is missing in conversation at this point. Do not let yourself be tempted to a discussion, but check what you say and show honestly respect for your interlocutor – so you will usually be given respect in response. The beginning of sentences such as “not badly meant, but ..”
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2. “Always” and “never”
If you start talks with a generalization, your counterpart will be happy to go to defense mode. Make sure that you do not basically make actions over a comb. Describe the situation that you noticed and use maximum words such as “increased”, “over a longer period” or “occasionally”.
3. “That may sound stupid …”
At the beginning there are no inappropriate expectations of what you actually want to say. You don’t have to make yourself and your thoughts small by announcing them as “stupid”. With such an introduction, your counterpart usually expects an actually more or less “stupid question” or is surprised why you want to communicate at all.
4. “I know exactly how you feel …”
No, mostly nobody knows how another person can feel. Everyone is individual with their feelings and thoughts. What starts as a good attempt to show empathy can quickly backfire. Your interlocutor could feel misunderstood or downgraded through this phrase in his feelings. Instead, you can ask the person whether they want to continue talking about their situation and feelings.
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5. “As I already said …”
In some situations, this phrase can quickly imply a passive-aggressive or annoyed undertone. The beginning of the sentence could be interpreted as if you wanted to accommodate your counterpart inattentiveness. If this statement cannot be avoided, you could switch to the “we” in the conversation: “As we discussed it …”, or “true, I still think that our idea is good …”.
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